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Caleb Ross

Caleb Daniel Ross, usually called Cal, was the son of Jess Ross and Danny Ross, born on June 13, 2016. He lived with Lennox-Gastaut syndrome, hypotonic cerebral palsy, and substantial developmental and daily-support needs. A nonspeaking AAC user, he communicated through devices, gesture, expression, speech approximations, and a deep, resonant adult voice. He was gentle and affectionate with people he trusted, persistent about what he wanted, and keenly affected by friendship, exclusion, and separation.

At full height, Caleb was approximately six feet three inches and weighed almost 300 pounds. He inherited the Ross family’s broad, heavyset frame and much of Danny’s face, with low muscle tone giving his body a soft, yielding quality. After Danny’s death in 2022, Jess raised him in Portland until they moved to Baltimore in March 2038 to live near his best friend, Minjae “Jae” Lee. They initially occupied the accessible suite attached to the Lee family home and later moved across the street into Noah Donelly’s rowhouse. Noah became another father to Caleb without replacing Danny.

Early Life and Background

Caleb was born with complex medical needs and required intensive care from the beginning of his life. Monitors, specialists, and medical interventions were part of his parents’ first experience of raising him. His early neurological and developmental difficulties preceded the full childhood presentation of Lennox-Gastaut syndrome; the syndrome’s diagnostic pattern was distinct from the medical complexity already present in infancy.

Jess was nineteen and Danny was twenty-one when Caleb was born. They learned seizure observation, respiratory-equipment care, positioning, mobility support, medication routines, and the coordination of therapy and specialist appointments while negotiating a medical system that could obstruct as well as provide care. Both became advocates for their son. Danny called him Buddy and Big Man, affectionate forms of address that Jess continued using after his death. Caleb’s middle name, Daniel, honored his father’s first name.

Caleb learned to recognize Jess’s arms and Danny’s hands as safe, familiar contact. He relaxed into their touch, turned toward their voices, and developed different sounds for discomfort, pain, contentment, and joy. His parents learned these distinctions through repeated attention. Communication grew within ordinary feeding, changing, resting, play, and comfort as well as through formal support.

Jess and Danny separated romantically but remained legally married and continued co-parenting Caleb. Danny’s own illnesses sometimes limited what he could do, but he remained involved in physical care and household life. Several months before his death, he and Jess had begun trying to restore their romantic relationship.

Main article: Danny’s Death (2022)

Danny died suddenly from a brain aneurysm at Jess’s Portland home in 2022, when Caleb was five. Caleb was present during the emergency and experienced its chaos and grief. The loss was also sensory and familiar: Danny’s hands no longer held him, and his voice and daily presence disappeared. Jess became his sole primary caregiver, while Caleb continued developing communication and relationships through the adjustment. Photographs and Jess’s stories kept Danny present in family life; seventeen years later, Caleb recognized him in an album and said “Daaa.”

Education and Learning

Caleb’s education centered on sensory experience, repetition, relationships, and supported communication. Conventional academic instruction was not his primary accessible mode of learning. His moderate global developmental and cognitive delays, more pronounced than Jae’s, affected how he processed unfamiliar information, followed complex situations, and expressed himself. They did not stop him from learning new associations, remembering people, asking questions, or developing wishes for his own life.

Music gave him patterns he could anticipate and enjoy. He responded to rhythm and melody, recognized familiar selections, and learned which sounds settled him and which became too much. Texture was equally specific: his favorite blanket, soft clothing, and fabrics that scratched or bound did not feel interchangeable. Familiar voices carried information about who was present, what might happen next, and whether he could relax.

His communication became more refined through AAC, gesture, movement, and vocalization. Jess learned to distinguish his requests and refusals while helping him gain more reliable ways to make them. Repeated experiences also taught him the differences among relationships. Jess was his primary source of safety; Jae was his friend, with shared jokes, affection, and interests that did not belong to a caregiver-child relationship.

Abstract time remained difficult. During the months between the first Maryland visit and the permanent move, a promise to return did not reliably give Caleb a usable sense of how long he had to wait. His difficulty with that interval coexisted with the ability to want a future visit, recognize love in wedding photographs, and imagine marriage for himself. Participation in the Lee household gradually expanded his experience of belonging beyond his bond with Jess.

Personality

Caleb was gentle, affectionate, and responsive to people who had earned his trust. His warmth was not an automatic response to anyone who approached him. Patient attention and respectful care mattered; he recognized individuals and had preferences about whose company and touch he wanted. His face softened and his body relaxed when Jess or Jae entered his awareness. He oriented toward Jess’s voice and reached for Jae when he heard his friend arrive.

Caleb could also be insistent. At the Disney Store, he pointed, spread his arms to show the size of the Mufasa he wanted, signed his request, and kept vocalizing until Jess understood. His intense greeting hugs sometimes exceeded the pressure he meant to use. When he noticed that Charlie was ill after one such embrace, he paid attention, asked through gesture, and offered comfort. Affection, imperfect force control, and concern for the other person all belonged to the same encounter.

Caleb sought comfort, security, relief from pain, and contact with loved ones. He wanted friendship and inclusion in ordinary activities, not only competent medical care. Separation from Jess could frighten him; the prospect of losing daily proximity to Jae brought a much larger grief than the adults initially understood. Painful or overwhelming medical experiences probably contributed to his fear in similar situations. Jess stayed attentive to his immediate distress without assuming that she could translate every part of his inner experience.

Cultural Identity and Heritage

Caleb was mixed race and multi-ethnic (Black American through Danny and White through Jess). His racial identity was part of his family history and of how other people encountered him; his communication and support needs did not determine the depth or meaning of that identity.

He did not give a conventional spoken account of being biracial or discuss his father’s family history in extended conversation. Much of his cultural life was sensory, relational, and embedded in the environment his family created. Danny’s voice, appearance, music, and care were early parts of that inheritance. Jess preserved photographs, stories, familiar names, and the hair care that kept Danny’s curls visible in their son. Caleb did not know most of Danny’s family well; Darren, his uncle, was the exception.

After the move, his daily cultural environment included the Korean-Chinese Lee household and, later, Noah’s Irish heritage alongside his Black and White American family history. He participated through familiar voices, food, music, household routines, affection, and celebrations. Inclusion meant being present within those family practices, with his preferences and access needs taken seriously; it did not require him to narrate cultural identity in someone else’s preferred form.

Communication

Caleb communicated through AAC, vocalizations, gestures, facial expression, and body language. His receptive understanding exceeded what he could reliably express through speech. Difficulty coordinating spoken output could leave him with something he wanted to say and no dependable way to make his mouth produce it. His developmental disability also affected processing and expression; neither that disability nor his speech difficulty made every message inaccessible to him.

AAC included picture symbols and device selections through which he expressed needs, preferences, questions, affection, and more complex relational thoughts. Composition could become slow and difficult with fatigue, illness, or emotional overload. At other times, he could ask to see Jae’s wedding pictures, recognize their meaning, or identify his best friend. His device and his nondevice communication complemented each other rather than forming a hierarchy in which only the clearest output counted.

Vocal Vocabulary

Caleb’s sounds were consistent enough for familiar people to learn their meanings. Jess distinguished twenty vocalizations, including sounds for hunger, discomfort, happiness, pain, wanting attention, and wanting to be left alone. She learned their differences through years of care; the knowledge was not an unexplained maternal instinct.

His speech approximations included “Nuh” or “nnnuh” for no, refusal, or protest; a glottal “Uh-uh” for something he did not want; and “Ahhh-yuh” for yes, agreement, or acceptance. “Wuhhh” requested water. “Buhhh” could mean book or bed, with the situation helping distinguish the two. He attempted Mufasa as “Mmmm-fuh.” A short, bark-like “Hhhuh” meant hurt, while “Owwwuh” expressed pain or discomfort. His laughter-like “hahhh” marked something funny or delightful. These sounds were slurred or imprecise, but they were intentional communication.

“Ma” and “Mama” were especially significant approximations for Jess. They could emerge breathy, slurred, and effortful under stress or strong emotion, including a prolonged “Mamaaaaaaa…” when he needed her. Hearing them was precious and painful at once: she treasured his voice naming her and felt the effort and frustration involved in getting the word out. “Daaa” first named Danny and later expanded to Noah at Caleb’s twenty-second-birthday party. In 2039, after Marisa’s initial cancer treatment, Caleb repeated it when Noah used drawings to ask his blessing before proposing to Jess.

His longer emotional calls were not attempts at particular words. A deep “AAAAAHHHHH-UHHHHHH” could express intense recognition and joy, as it did at the Baltimore airport. Distress sounded different from contentment, excitement at Jae’s arrival, or the quieter vocalizations that accompanied music. Listeners unfamiliar with Caleb could hear undifferentiated noise where Jess and his friends heard a specific person responding.

Gesture, Interpretation, and Access

Caleb reached toward what he wanted, even when an arm dropped from fatigue before he made contact. The direction and timing of that reach were part of the message. People who knew him learned to close the remaining distance rather than demand a stronger or repeated movement. His posture, facial expression, attention, and changes in muscle tension added information that a single sound or AAC selection might not carry alone.

Jess recognized the restlessness that meant he needed repositioning, particular signs of pain, and changes that could precede his seizures. She also knew the difference between a body that was comfortable and one that had become unusually quiet or disengaged. She asked people to address him directly and allow time for an answer, explaining, “He hears you. He understands more than you think. Talk to him, not around him.” Her interpretation supported his participation; it did not make her the speaker of his AAC messages.

When Caleb and Jae were tired, familiar vocalizations, gesture, touch, and AAC could be easier than speech. Each recognized something of his own effort in the other’s communication. Cal could reassure Jae that he did not have to talk and remain with him through a nap, without requiring the call to become a conventional conversation.

Health, Disability, and Access

Seizures, Sleep, and Temperature

Caleb’s Lennox-Gastaut syndrome caused multiple seizure types, including absence and drop seizures, and required ongoing treatment and monitoring. His treatment included multiple antiseizure medications and an implanted vagus nerve stimulator (VNS). Jess kept its magnet accessible and taught familiar caregivers its use within his seizure plan. Treatment reduced seizure activity without eliminating it. Breakthrough seizures and clusters remained part of his life, and illness, disrupted routines, and travel could make care more difficult. Jess tracked his events, recovery, prescribed rescue thresholds, and changes from his usual presentation and communicated those observations to his clinical team.

He used CPAP during sleep for sleep apnea. Mask fit, equipment function, and his overnight condition required attention alongside seizure monitoring. Jess reviewed the machine’s data as one part of understanding his night; it did not replace observation of his breathing or seizures.

Caleb ran warm even when well and overheated easily. Jess monitored room temperature, adjusted clothing and blankets, and watched his responses to heat. Heavy layers could become uncomfortable quickly. Touch helped her recognize a change from his familiar warmth, and she used a thermometer when assessing temperature rather than treating warm skin alone as a diagnosis of fever.

Mobility, Positioning, and Personal Care

His hypotonic cerebral palsy caused very low muscle tone, floppy limbs, weak reflexes, delayed movement, and extensive support needs. Maintaining posture and coordinating purposeful movement took effort and could become unreliable with fatigue. He used a wheelchair full-time. With close support and strong immediate motivation, he could sometimes stand and take a few unsteady steps, but those episodes did not provide safe or sustainable functional mobility.

His nearly 300-pound adult body required properly rated and fitted mobility, transfer, bathing, and positioning equipment. Hoyer lifts, supported transfer-board arrangements, and positioning systems were part of his care. Jess managed much of that work, with other trusted adults increasingly participating after the Baltimore move. Equipment reduced risk without eliminating the physical labor; repeated handling and positioning placed cumulative strain on her back and shoulders.

Caleb required full-time continence support. He wore XL–2XL tab-style diapers with booster pads, with bed pads as needed; pull-ups were not his usual system. Changes required enough room, supplies, support, and equipment for an adult of his size. Jess protected his comfort and dignity while managing the physical work, especially when illness added diarrhea, fatigue, pain, or more frequent changes.

He needed assistance with feeding and hydration. His individual chewing and swallowing difficulties required attention to intake, position, fatigue, and aspiration risk. Food still had preferences and pleasure attached to it; Jess considered what he enjoyed and tolerated within his care needs. She also monitored his breathing, seizure activity, and body language for changes that could signal an emerging problem.

Pillows and position changes supported his limbs and reduced pressure on his skin. His care included attention to joint position and contracture prevention, along with the quieter adjustments that made a position comfortable rather than merely achievable. Lighting, noise, clothing, room temperature, and music all affected how well he could settle.

Transition to Adult Care and Pre-Move Illness

At twenty, before he and Jess met the Lees in person, Caleb’s Portland pediatric neurologist told Jess that the department needed to begin transferring him to adult neurology and expected to discharge him from pediatrics by the end of the year. Child-sized equipment and staff discomfort with handling his adult-sized body contributed to the pressure. Jess challenged a handoff without an adult team that understood his conditions and communication, leaving the appointment feeling cornered rather than supported.

At twenty-one, Caleb continued the transition from Portland pediatric care to adult services at Johns Hopkins. Before the March 2038 move, he and Jess joined an early-morning remote consultation with Dr. Emily Chen from their Portland living-room couch. Dr. Chen asked about his good and difficult days, communication, pain, changes from baseline, and the support that made his care work. She coordinated with Jess and the Portland teams so records, prescriptions, equipment and supplies, seizure protocols, and receiving adult services could be addressed before the move.

During that preparation period, Caleb also had a severe flu-like illness with fever, cough, shortness of breath, throat pain, aching joints, and gastrointestinal symptoms. He rested beside Jess with Mufasa while she handled remote care arrangements and tried to understand each indication that he hurt. His soft abdomen made some cramping visible or palpable; Jess could sometimes feel a cramp before the next episode of gastrointestinal distress and prepare to help him. The illness added discomfort and more demanding care to an already difficult period of separation and change.

Depression and Belonging

After returning to Portland from the first Maryland visit, Caleb sank into depression during the separation from Jae and the wider community he had found. He withdrew, vocalized and engaged less, and slept to escape rather than only from his ordinary medical fatigue. Jess sent photographs to the Lees because she was worried about the change. Having experienced daily friendship and inclusion, Caleb felt their absence acutely.

His retreat into sleep also occurred at family gatherings where conversation and plans passed around him without including him. Jess came to recognize this as self-protection as well as fatigue. His need for community was therefore part of his emotional wellbeing, not an optional addition to seizure and physical care. After the Baltimore relocation, his depression lifted markedly; better sleep, fewer seizures, less agitation, and renewed engagement accompanied his return to daily companionship.

Relationship to His Body

Music, comfortable textures, familiar voices, and affectionate contact gave Caleb genuine pleasure. His enjoyment could be quiet, with a settling body and soft hum, or exuberant enough to fill a room. Humor and repetition delighted him. He could return to the same funny picture or recorded reaction repeatedly without losing the pleasure of it, and he participated in jokes rather than merely receiving other people’s entertainment.

His distress was as varied as his pleasure. Tension, agitation, restlessness, or withdrawal could indicate pain, an uncomfortable position, sensory overload, frustration, or sadness. The context and quality of his response mattered. Being left out hurt him, and he noticed when someone he loved stopped answering. He could not always explain the whole cause or make another person understand immediately, which added frustration to the original feeling.

Much of Caleb’s understanding grew from repeated, felt experience. Jess meant safety; Jae meant friendship; familiar people could remain with him when pain or seizures disrupted his body. He knew the difference between a texture he wanted and one that hurt, between company that included him and people who talked around him. Those experiences shaped what he sought and whom he trusted.

Caleb’s medium-brown skin, dark eyes, and black curls made his resemblance to Danny immediately visible. His much larger frame also resembled other Ross men. In public, strangers encountered him as a large, Black-presenting disabled young man, sometimes reading his size as a threat before registering his wheelchair and communication differences. Fear could give way to confusion or pity without producing genuine engagement. Caleb experienced the resulting distance and discomfort even when he could not name the racial and disability assumptions behind them. Jess challenged people who discussed him as though he were absent or approached his adult body as an inconvenience.

Physical Characteristics

Build and Movement

Caleb was approximately six feet three inches at full height and almost 300 pounds, with broad shoulders and a heavyset frame inherited from the Ross family. His underlying build resembled Darren and the other large Ross men more than Danny’s wiry body. He carried substantial weight through his chest, torso, and midsection, while his low muscle tone softened the outlines that might otherwise have looked more muscular.

His body felt heavy but yielding under the hands. His arms, thighs, and torso had a soft-solid heft: the weight was immediately apparent, but the flesh shifted under gentle pressure rather than holding firm tension. An arm or thigh could jiggle loosely when lightly moved. Supporting him required attention to where that weight settled and how his limbs and trunk were positioned.

His abdomen was soft and round, with low abdominal tone. During gastrointestinal distress, some cramping and movement could be visible or felt through his belly. Jess’s familiarity with those changes helped her distinguish discomfort from his resting softness and anticipate care. His body was not easy for her to manage alone, even with equipment, and its vulnerability did not make its physical weight less real.

Skin

Caleb had medium-brown skin with warm coloring that clearly connected him to Danny. In healthy stretches, his complexion was smooth and even. He bruised easily; difficult transfers, medical procedures, or seizure-related contact with equipment could leave dark shadows that took unusually long to fade. Jess watched those marks alongside pressure areas and other changes in his skin.

He felt warm to the touch even when he was not ill. Jess knew his usual warmth through years of holding, changing, bathing, and positioning him. Her hands could alert her to a difference, while temperature readings and his wider condition helped her interpret it.

Face and Eyes

Caleb’s face was soft and open, with low muscle tone giving his resting features an unhurried, relaxed appearance even when he was awake and attentive. Expressions formed gradually rather than appearing all at once. His pleasure and distress were often directly legible in his face once someone allowed time to notice them; he did not habitually hide them behind a practiced social expression.

Danny’s features became more apparent as Caleb grew: the high cheekbones, oval face shape, nose, strong jawline, and wide, dark-brown eyes. His resemblance could make people who had known Danny look twice; he had the same striking, “pretty” features on a very different frame. Where Jess remembered Danny’s eyes flashing with humor or protective fury, Caleb’s often held quiet attention and responsiveness. Recognition changed them when Jess spoke or Jae arrived, and his own enjoyment of a joke could brighten his whole face. Danny’s crooked smile appeared in Caleb as a slower, asymmetrical movement shaped by his own muscle control, but the family resemblance remained unmistakable.

For Jess, that resemblance could catch her unprepared. Looking at her adult son sometimes meant encountering the face of the man she had lost, changed by years Danny had never lived to see. She never settled whether Caleb’s smile resembling his father’s was the cruelest or most beautiful part of that inheritance. Grief and delight could arrive together.

Hair

His black hair grew in thick, soft curls, dense and full, with a looser curl pattern than Danny’s. Jess kept it somewhat longer than the shortest practical cut because she loved its beauty and wanted Caleb to have that beauty for himself. The length preserved the curl pattern while remaining manageable during bathing, sleep, and positioning.

She kept his curls defined, healthy, and groomed. Hair care was a matter of dignity as well as convenience: Caleb deserved an appearance treated with the same attention as anyone else’s, and his father’s hair remained visible in him. His extensive medical needs did not reduce grooming to the quickest possible maintenance task.

Hands

Caleb had large, broad palms and long fingers, with Danny’s hand size but without his working calluses or wiry strength. His hands were soft, warm, and heavy when held. His fingers often curled loosely, settling around another person’s hand in acceptance rather than maintaining a firm grip.

Those hands also reached. Jess’s voice, Jae’s arrival, and a favorite piece of music could draw an intentional movement toward what he wanted. A reach might be slow, partial, or interrupted by fatigue, with his arm falling before he arrived. Loved ones learned to meet him partway, placing a hand where his fingers were going or bringing the desired contact within reach. The incomplete movement still carried a clear intention.

Voice and Presence

Caleb’s natural voice was deep, adult, and resonant. It could surprise people who expected silence or childlike sounds because of his disabilities. His larger calls carried through a room or an airport pickup area, while contented humming could remain low and intimate. His lack of reliable conventional speech did not make him voiceless.

For people who stayed and learned his pace, being near Caleb could feel calming. Attention shifted toward an immediate question of comfort, company, or what he was trying to communicate. Friends and family could settle into music, silence, and touch without filling every pause. That quiet companionship was different from the fear, confusion, or pity he sometimes encountered from strangers.

Jess wanted to hold her son as well as care for him. Equipment and adequate support were necessary for moving his adult body, but an embrace was not merely another transfer. His weight could be wanted, his closeness comforting to the person supporting him. For Jess and Darren, his face, hands, and coloring also carried Danny’s legacy. They saw milestones Danny had missed and changes he would have celebrated, including progress that did not look like conventional speech or walking.

Personal Style and Presentation

Caleb’s clothes prioritized comfort, cooling, and access for personal care. He wore 3XL–4XL tops and men’s size 12–14 wide shoes. Soft, tagless cotton shirts, loose or adaptive elastic-waist pants and shorts, and breathable fabrics suited him better than heavy material or layers. Clothes needed to avoid binding, pressure points, and unnecessary difficulty during changes or equipment use.

His shoes used easy fastenings such as Velcro or slip-on designs. Seamless or diabetic socks reduced irritating seams, and orthotics were used when needed. Sleepwear included adaptive pajamas or oversized graphic tees with soft shorts. Dinosaur imagery appeared among his familiar clothes and comfort objects. For a video call, he could enjoy a yellow polo and favorite dinosaur tie rather than treating dressing as entirely utilitarian.

Jess balanced those practical requirements with grooming and presentation that respected him as an adult. Keeping his curls beautiful and selecting comfortable clothes were part of the same care: his appearance mattered even when fashion was not its organizing priority.

Tastes and Preferences

Caleb adored Disney films, especially The Lion King. The film also connected him to Danny, who had watched it repeatedly with him and sung its songs badly but earnestly. Familiar music, predictable rhythms, soft textures, his favorite blanket, and trusted voices gave him comfort. He disliked scratchy or binding clothes and heavy layers that made him overheat.

His giant Mufasa plush was a treasured gift from Jae and a tangible connection to their friendship. Caleb held it during illness, distress, travel, and separation. Jae bought the lion at the Disney Store during the first Maryland visit and later had it shipped to Portland. Caleb’s original dinosaur plush was a separate comfort object, the one he offered Charlie when Charlie needed to rest.

Caleb enjoyed visual memories and repeated jokes. After joining Jae’s fan photograph, he repeatedly enlarged their faces and replayed the captured “Oh my gosh!” on his iPad, laughing each time. His return to the picture was an active pleasure in the people, the joke, and the familiar surprised response.

His eating involved medical and sensory constraints, but he still had preferences within them. Jess paid attention to what tasted and felt good to him as well as what he could swallow and tolerate. Familiar, reliable meals could help during travel; McDonald’s was one such stop on the first Maryland trip.

Habits, Routines, and Daily Life

Caleb’s mornings included continence care, position changes, medication, and an assessment of how he felt after the night. Jess checked for overnight seizures, reviewed CPAP data, and looked for pain, skin changes, or unusual fatigue. The day’s medication times remained fixed points around which food, rest, activities, and appointments had to fit. She tracked doses and side effects and kept his clinicians informed when his usual pattern changed.

Transfers and repositioning required equipment, space, and sustained attention. Jess spoke directly to Caleb during them, explaining what was happening and staying responsive to his comfort. Moving him did not suspend their relationship or make him an object being handled. The same attention continued through meals, where intake and swallowing needed monitoring, and through adjustments to pillows, clothing, lighting, sound, and room temperature.

Seizure awareness remained in the background even during an ordinary day. Jess watched for familiar warning signs, managed events according to his plan, and tracked recovery. She also learned which music calmed him, which sounds agitated him, and when a quieter environment helped him participate rather than withdrawing completely.

After the move, time with Jae became a regular pleasure rather than an appointment across the country. Music, shared rest, television, meals, and family gatherings gave the day a social shape alongside its medical routines. The Lee family learned enough of Caleb’s care to give Jess breaks while keeping him among familiar people. Their ability to accommodate his needs allowed both him and Jess to have lives within a community.

Personal Understanding and Beliefs

Caleb’s understanding was not limited to immediate comfort. He could recognize love in Jae and Minh’s wedding photographs and express a wish for that kind of future. At the same time, abstract waiting and complicated social situations could exceed what he could hold or explain. People who knew him had to respect both his actual understanding and the support he needed, without making one cancel the other.

Family and Core Relationships

Jess Ross

Jess was Caleb’s mother and primary caregiver. She coordinated his medical care, communication access, daily support, and the cross-country move that placed him within a larger disability community.

They were rarely separated. Her familiar voice and touch helped him orient when he was frightened or confused, and her knowledge of his body made subtle changes recognizable. He could settle into her arms with a soft sound of contentment that meant comfort and security to both of them. The bond was reciprocal: Caleb gave Jess love, purpose, and meaning while she provided the care that sustained him.

Jess feared seizures that would not stop, a crisis beyond her ability to manage, and the possibility that her own body would fail before Caleb’s needs diminished. She also worried about what would happen to him if she could no longer care for him. Those fears accompanied devotion rather than replacing it. She wanted him held, comfortable, included, and loved, not simply medically stable.

She helped others notice his pleasure, saying, “Caleb’s having a good day today—look at how he’s watching the music.” In quieter moments she told him, “You are so loved, Caleb. So many people see you and love you exactly as you are.” Reassurance was part of the repeated experience through which he learned that he belonged.

Danny Ross

Danny was Caleb’s biological father and one of his earliest caregivers. Their relationship lasted until Danny’s sudden death in 2022.

Main article: Caleb Ross and Danny Ross

Danny fed, changed, positioned, comforted, and played with Caleb within his own capacity. Buddy and Big Man were his affectionate names for his son. The Lion King, the For Caleb 🦁 playlist, family photographs, and Jess’s stories preserved more than the name Daniel after his death. Caleb’s continuing use of “Daaa” for Danny remained part of his understanding of fatherhood when Noah later joined the family.

Darren Ross

Darren was Caleb’s uncle and the exception to his limited familiarity with Danny’s family. He stayed present after Danny’s death through visits, stories about Danny, video calls, and birthday and holiday gifts. He refused to let Caleb lose that paternal connection along with his father.

For Darren, Caleb was both his nephew and a living connection to the brother who had raised him. Caleb’s face resembled Danny’s while his broad build resembled Darren’s, making the family inheritance visible in different forms. The wider Ross family’s estrangement did not define this uncle-nephew relationship.

Noah Donelly

Noah met Caleb as a neighbor shortly after their households moved to Baltimore in March 2038. Noah was a pediatric neurologist but never served on Caleb’s treatment team because their personal relationship created a conflict of interest. As Noah’s relationship with Jess deepened, his independent relationship with Caleb developed into a chosen father-son bond.

Main article: Caleb Ross and Noah Donelly

Noah addressed Caleb directly, waited for his responses, and learned his communication and routines from Jess without treating medical training as a substitute for knowing him. At his twenty-second-birthday party on June 13, 2038, Caleb tried “Mmm…daaa” and “Daaa…da…” toward Noah. Jess asked whether he meant Dad, and Cal confirmed through his AAC. Noah answered, “Okay, son. Okay.” Before proposing to Jess in 2039, after Marisa’s initial cancer treatment, Noah used drawings to ask whether Caleb would welcome the marriage and his place in their family. Caleb responded with repeated “Daaa,” continuing to recognize Noah as a father alongside Danny. Noah had already made him a permanent bedroom before he and Jess moved into the rowhouse.

Their shared grooming routines included lightly scented body wash, careful face washing, brushing from the ends of Cal’s hair, and joking “guy tips.” Cal enjoyed the scents, the attention to his adult appearance, and the towel-scrub that startled him into a belly laugh. When Noah mistook Cal’s pleased face-touching after a wash for anxiety, Jess helped him understand the difference. Noah learned from those moments as well as from seizures and medical routines.

Friendships and Community

Minjae Lee

Minjae was Caleb’s best friend. Jess and the Lee adults deliberately arranged their video friendship in early 2036 because both young men needed disabled peers who could understand aspects of their lives. They first met in person during Caleb and Jess’s nearly two-week visit to Maryland in late spring or early summer 2037. Cal slept unusually well, shared music and rest with Jae, and participated in an ordinary mall and ice-cream outing with him. Near the end of the stay, the prospect of returning to Portland triggered a meltdown, vomiting, and syncope. Cal continued asking for Jae, who was already exhausted in his own room. Cal went to him, sat on his bed, and gathered him to his chest. Only their reunion let Cal settle; they slept tangled together, his large frame curved protectively around his friend. After Joon-Ho offered the Lees’ attached suite, Jess decided that the Portland return would be temporary while she transferred Cal’s care and prepared the permanent move. The separation and Caleb’s subsequent withdrawal reinforced that decision while the Lees expanded the suite.

Main article: Caleb Ross and Minjae Lee

Cal and Jae recognized each other immediately at their first meeting and moved into an exuberant embrace. Their friendship could be physically close and quiet as well as loud and excited. Cal held Jae while they rested, his large body curved around his smaller friend, with their families managing positioning and supervision. Jae did not require Cal to explain himself in conventional speech, and Cal did not require Jae to perform, achieve, or sustain energy he did not have.

During the first visit, Jae bought Cal a giant Mufasa plush during their mall outing. Cal later joined a fan photograph with Minjae while holding it, then repeatedly revisited the picture, the faces, and its captured audio on the drive home.

Jae paid for Mufasa from his music and documentary royalties with Nari’s support. Cal pressed his forehead to Jae’s in his strongest gesture of affection and gratitude. The lion stayed with Cal through the visit and was shipped to Portland afterward because of its size. When it arrived during his withdrawal, he pulled it against his chest and laughed for the first time since Baltimore.

Jess sent the Lees a picture, and Jae asked to FaceTime. He was crying when the call connected and initially spoke Mandarin until Minh reminded him that Jess and Cal did not understand it. He switched to English to ask when Cal would return. Cal hummed and reached toward the screen, trying to close the distance to his friend. The gift brought comfort without making the separation painless.

Cal and Jess made a second Baltimore visit in late 2037 while the attached suite was being expanded to give them separate bedrooms. During the construction, Jae tried to remain beside the work because it was “For Caleb,” even as the noise overwhelmed him. He eventually accepted Joon-Ho’s help and rested with him in the garden through a migraine. The visit did not complete the move: Cal and Jess returned to Portland to continue remote medical coordination and relocation preparations before settling in Baltimore the following March.

Mateo Garcia

Caleb also became close to Mateo, the son of Jess’s best friend, Marisa Garcia. Their mothers arranged video calls that could include Cal, Jae, and Mateo, giving them contact across different experiences of disability. Mateo called Cal his “big cousin,” an affectionate chosen-family relationship rather than a biological one.

During adolescence, Mateo began pulling away as his struggles with disability identity intensified. He felt caught between Cal’s level of disability and the nondisabled peers he wanted to fit among. He stopped answering calls regularly, though Caleb had done nothing to cause the withdrawal. Cal noticed and was hurt. He vocalized his distress, reached for his AAC, and asked for “Mati,” unable to give a full account of why his friend had disappeared. Mateo’s struggle belonged to Mateo, but its consequences reached Caleb.

Charlie Rivera

Caleb befriended Charlie during the 2037 visit. Cal’s tight greeting hug left Charlie lightheaded and nauseated; after Charlie vomited, Cal recognized that he was sick and offered him his original dinosaur plush for comfort. Charlie later joined the group that welcomed Caleb and Jess at the Baltimore airport.

Main article: Caleb Ross and Charlie Rivera

Cal pointed toward Charlie, then his own stomach and mouth, to ask about the illness. Charlie answered him directly and used humor without pretending that he felt well. Cal laughed, gave him the dinosaur when he needed a nap, and settled to sleep himself. Their friendship made room for both men’s symptoms, rest, and communication rather than requiring either to hide what his body needed.

Family Exclusion and the Portland Network

Main article: Christmas 2037 Family Confrontation - Event

At Christmas 2037, Jess’s mother, two sisters, and their children gathered at her Portland home. Cal’s cousins, ranging from thirteen to twenty-five, made plans to go out in the same room without including him. He became quieter and eventually slept to escape the experience of being physically present but socially invisible. Jess asked directly whether they would take him with them; their awkward silence and refusal made the exclusion explicit.

After the others left, Caleb used AAC to select “sad.” When Jess asked why, he selected “cousin.” He had understood the exclusion. For Jess, the exchange ended her attempts to rationalize her family’s treatment of him and strengthened the decision she had already made during the first Maryland visit.

Her Portland medical-parent network offered a different kind of family. Marisa, Leah Whitaker, Tasha Reynolds, and Rina Patel helped with fundraising, logistics, and emotional support for the relocation. They understood the demands of complex care without treating Caleb’s need for friendship as expendable. Marisa ultimately flew with Jess and Cal so Jess would not have to manage the journey alone.

Romantic Hopes

During a video call about Jae and Minh’s wedding pictures, Caleb used AAC to identify a photograph of their closeness as “that is love.” Looking at their joined hands and rings, he added, “i want to get married too someday. like you.” Jae responded that Cal could find his person, and Caleb wanted Jae to play music. The exchange expressed Caleb’s own hope for partnership and a future celebration with his friend.

Move to Baltimore

In early March 2038, Caleb and Jess moved permanently from Portland to Baltimore. They settled in the accessible suite attached to the Lee family home, giving Caleb daily proximity to Minjae and connecting both Rosses to the Baltimore disability community.

Main article: Cal and Jess Move to Baltimore (March 2038) - Event

Marisa accompanied them on a difficult flight during which Caleb experienced seizure clusters and became exhausted. At BWI, Jess pushed his wheelchair toward Logan’s accessible van. Recognizing Logan and Charlie, Cal produced the long, deep call “AAAAAHHHHH-UHHHHHH.” Jess and Marisa both cried at his joy. Charlie had come despite being pale and carsick from the drive.

Mo Makani, whom Cal was meeting for the first time, approached gently and allowed him time to notice and respond. Cal tentatively lifted his hand in an approximation of a wave. Mo had arrived with Logan, whom Cal trusted, within a welcome that made the new person feel safer. The group then traveled to the Lee home, where Jae was waiting.

The move followed a difficult period of separation from Minjae. Remote transition planning with Dr. Chen helped preserve medical continuity while in-person adult-care appointments were established after arrival. After the relocation, Caleb slept better, experienced fewer seizures, showed less agitation, and regained his usual engagement.

Several months after Jess began dating Noah, she and Caleb moved into Noah’s four-bedroom rowhouse across the street. Noah gave Caleb a permanent bedroom of his own. They lived there before Noah’s 2039 proposal.

Continuing Life and Legacy

Caleb’s continuing life involved seizure and respiratory care, adapting equipment and routines as his needs changed, and preserving the relationships that gave those routines purpose. Changes in seizure patterns or additional medical difficulties could require further adjustments; his family remained committed to making them without treating one future course as inevitable. Jess’s own aging and physical capacity made shared care increasingly important.

His friendship with Jae continued to deepen, and the Lee family’s traditions and celebrations included him as an ordinary member of the extended household. More than one person could provide care, understand his communication, and make room for him. Community changed what was possible for both Cal and Jess without removing the reality of his impairments or the work involved in supporting him.

For Jess, Caleb was her greatest challenge and greatest gift, central to her life’s meaning and loved beyond what any care inventory could describe. For Jae, he was a friend whose company did not require musical achievement or performance. For the Lees and their wider community, living alongside him changed how they understood communication, inclusion, and the worth of a life with extensive support needs. These effects accumulated through ordinary days, shared affection, difficult care, humor, and the decision to keep including him.

Memorable Quotes

“That’s my best friend Jae”

(Selected on Caleb’s AAC device when asked about the friend beside him.)

“i want to get married too someday. like you”

(AAC, while looking at Jae and Minh’s wedding photographs.)

“Ma” / “Mama”

(His rare, effortful speech approximations for Jess.)

“Daaa.”

(Caleb’s response when Noah used drawings to ask his blessing before proposing to Jess in 2039.)

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